Posted by Geo 11-09-23

Good
morning to all. It doesn’t seem possible to me that this year is
nearly over with. Pretty soon I’ll be writing 2024. 

Work:

I
spent this past week working on the new Earth’s
Survivors books. I also spent some time on The Zombie
Plagues books and six. Definition, characters, plot and more.
My goal a few months ago was to be able to concentrate on the one
series and write everything else I felt like writing on the side. I
guess I have achieved that goal. Spring of next year will bring a new
Zombie Plague book. That may be
the last one published, it all depends on the reaction, acceptance.

I
also realized that for me the Earth’s survivors books are not over. I
am not saying they will ever be published, but I am saying the story
is continuing. I spent a good part of the week writing the story of
Billy and Beth, more of the back story for Bear and Donita, and a few
other characters that had no real back story. And the deeper I dig
the better it gets for me. I want to know more about Pearl, where she
came from, how she happens to have knowledge others don’t about the
plagues. So I wrote that beginning too. I think when I can allow
myself to get into their world I find that I know it so well that I
get lost in it, and want to know more, tell more, write more.

Beth
and Billy were two characters that I knew a lot about, but didn’t
write much about. They came into the story in the fourth book and
that was that. A very short back story and there they were. This
woman, Beth, then becomes Bear’s woman. The bond is undeniable and
instantaneous. But what about Billy who was with her to begin with?
Had they only known each other a short time or were they old friends?
Where did they come from? How did they survive so long on their own
before they joined up with Bear? Those were things I thought I knew,
but as I wrote all of that over the last several weeks I found that I
didn’t know everything and that there was a lot that wanted to be
told.

The
second thing I saw was Bear and Donita’s story. What kind of man was
he before? What about her? So that is another area I have worked on
over the last several weeks. Bear and Donita, Maddy, Cammy, more
background about them. Where they came from, how it was for them. How
John, the guy Maddy and Cammy were traveling with died, where, what
it did to them as a group. It is things like that that keep me
writing the story line. It makes little difference if I ever publish
any of it, the story still has to be written out. I think that is
what makes someone a writer as opposed to someone who writes for a
living. And I no longer write for a living. That part is over with.

I
may be interested in having some of this material read by fans. Not
someone who thinks it might be fun to read it, but actual fans who
are invested in the story line. Those are the people that can make a
difference in direction in the writing. They can do that because even
if they see the story developing differently than I do, they see it.
They know the characters. They understand the dynamic. If that’s you,
let me know, and as always I do appreciate the emails and feedback.

Questions:

Family:
I have been asked more than once about family as it relates to my
writing. Where are they, what do they think, etc..

You
may notice that I don’t have family members that read my writing,
proof read it, make comments about it. I don’t know if that is normal
or not. I think I have the same sort of quasi dysfunctional family as
everyone else in this country has. I like a few of them, a few of
them like me, some of us struggle to get along, a few I could do
without and I am sure a few feel that way about me. Makes me wonder
what it’s like in other countries, or maybe used to be like in this
country. I can remember grandparents that were very strong people.
They held things together, the fabric of the family. Now grandparents
are shipped off to old folks homes, care centers that really do no
more than house geriatric patients, and even places that abuse those
patients and are rarely held accountable for that. And why are they
there? Because family is a word that now means ‘this tiny, little,
immediate group right here around or near me. Not grandparents, not
parents, not siblings, just these few. My goals are more important
than seeing after the well being of the man/woman people that raised
me.’ And if divorce happens? Well then that little group changes
too and the kids grow up without parents. Sometime I look at the
world and think it’s pretty much junk. The more we evolve the clearer
it becomes what sort of race we are aiming to be: Selfish, self
centered tiny universes of our own. Spinning alone through the
darkness.

I
hope God kills me if I ever start thinking that way again. I take
care of my mother here at home and this is a place for her until she
passes or doesn’t want to be here. I think that because we are so far
apart on our views of this subject there is too much between my
family and I to work out. And I understand it all because I have been
that self centered waste of space. Thankfully I’m not now.

I
had a friend once who made a remark to me about why I am single. I
thought, that is a stupid question to ask me. Can’t you see what I am
doing? I have traded all of that for responsibility, isn’t that the way we were supposed to be raised? Do you mean I should put my mother
in a home so I can have a wife? I think sometimes people mean well
but they don’t think things out past their own small universe.

I
guess I said all of that because I wanted to explain why there is no
family involved in the process with my books. I don’t really think it
is a surprise to anyone who actually lives in this world. And I
wanted to say this clearly in a public blog. Everything I write
belongs to me. Yes I had thought to leave it when I left, but no. I
will decide what to do with it before that time happens. There is a
legality in play here and the reason I wrote this worded they way it
is.

Writing:

I
also wrote the family part of this because truly my life is an open
book, but I am also always asked who helped me get started, why I
write, who is my support in my family and so on.

Many
people want to write, but can never seem to make the grade. They have
no support, no encouragement, no one to help them. I had/have none of
that and I write. No one calls me up after a long day of writing and
tells me how good that was, that they like it. There is no monthly
encouragement letter in the box. I don’t have weekly support classes
where everyone encourages me to keep writing. People ask those things
of me when they write because they assume I must have had all of
that. Nope. Didn’t.

Here’s
the thing though, I still write nearly every day.

In
school my English teacher thought I was an idiot. Music teacher the
same. Family the same. That isn’t made up, it’s true. The same may be
true for you and if it is then you have to do the work yourself. Love
yourself. Praise yourself. Don’t give up. Keep going forward. I can’t
say it better than that. If you want it you will have it. I know that
sounds like bullshit, I used to think it was, but it isn’t at all.
One foot in front of the other every day and keep the end goal in
mind and you will get there.

I
also got some disapproval because there are gays and lesbians in my
books. That they have relationships, love, feel, are depicted like
real people. Of course Christianity does not allow for Gays and
Lesbians, so for some Christians it’s okay in their hearts to hate
them, keep distance from them. In my real world there are only
people. Some are this, some are that. I took what I know and wrote
it, and so I couldn’t apologize to my Christianity for that. And my
God didn’t ask me to, it was only people who felt that. I wrote about
a real world rebuilding itself after a disaster and that world
included everyone.

I
guess things like that should have hurt my feelings, but they didn’t.
It means that your family may only see you one way. Don’t pin your
hopes there, go past that. Believe in you. Look at Jesus the Christ.
Nobody in his hometown took him seriously at all. He had to go
elsewhere before anyone took him seriously. You could be in worse
company on your quest to be a writer, that’s for sure.

Still,
this is one of those places where you should have family or loved
ones to count on, but quite often they are not there for you. That’s
because sometimes, like you, like me, they are also damaged. Probably
have self image problems too, and so they can’t see others that might
be doing a better job that they are. In effect they can’t see past
their own problems/failures/successes. You tend to get stuck in that
self pity mode and everything sucks, no matter if it is things you do
or others do. So, unfortunately for you and I, we have to depend on
ourselves. But one thing that solves is being let down by those same
people.

If
you get to know yourself, not the public or daily persona, but you,
you will know what your capabilities are. You can start to believe in
yourself. Don’t believe in bullshit, don’t believe in things people
sell you, believe in you. Do you have a good heart? Good, believe in
that. It’s a thing that you know about yourself. Do you care about
people? Social issues? Are you artistic? Does music live in your
soul? Get to know these things and you will have a real base you can
believe in. You, not someone else, you. That way you can not let
yourself down either. So that is my advice to people who want to
write or accomplish anything else in their lives. I have lived that
advice. It works. In the end, write what you feel, what you know,
what you want to write, encourage yourself and you will be fine.

Suicide:

That
is a funny topic to ask me about. I can see the reasoning, but my
answer has to involve so much of my life that the last few times I
have been asked I ignored it. I assume you have read some other
things I wrote that discusses that and that is where the questions
come from.

Okay.
Suicide. I really want to be careful in my portrayal of suicide.
Modern Christians believe that suicide is forbidden. They will point
to this verse or that verse of scripture as a backup. God says this
or that about it. But my problem with that is the same problem I have
with many laws touted by modern Christianity, and said to have
clear pronouncements in scriptures. They don’t. It’s that simple.
Show me a clear scripture where God says that Suicide is
unforgivable, or a sin greater than another, or even that suicide
itself is a sin, and I will eat my proverbial hat. It isn’t there.

The
problems with modern Christianity is that almost all of it is
interpretive. That is why there are dozens of Christian churches that
do not get along with one another, even hate each other (In actions I
have seen, although they will deny it is hate). If that’s the case I
can also misquote or put a spin on some scripture and have my own
church inside of five minutes.

There
was a time in my life, when I was younger and I swallowed all of this
hook, line and sinker. But I don’t any longer. Show it to me in
writing. Don’t show me scripture that is vague and could cover
anything from picking on your sister to skipping school to getting a
felonious arrest for dealing drugs, or murder. Show it to me in
writing, not the Old Testament, which is not about us, but written
for the Jews as a book of faith and law, not for Christians. No one
can do that, and they can’t show it to me because it doesn’t exist. I
have argued it before and the end argument for the other side always
comes down to, “Well, it takes faith.” Right. That is so close to
“There is a sucker born every minute,” that I just can’t abide
it.

So,
back to suicide and the practical persons understanding of it and
God’s feeling about it we may infer from our understanding of God.

I
am a Christian. Not a modern Christian but a Christian who believes
Bible. What was really said, not all the icing the Catholic Church
and a few others put on the cake. After all, the Catholic church said
Mary the Magdalene was a whore for a few thousand years. They finally
admitted she wasn’t, but that is the church supposedly founded on the
rock, Peter, Jesus’s own disciple, so how could it have gotten
it wrong? Because the church is not run by God. It is run by men, and
we are fallible.

I
could distort scripture and come to the conclusion that maybe Jesus
himself committed suicide. After all, he knew he would die. He knew
the Jews would kill him. Does that make it suicide when he knew these
things yet went willingly to be killed? Is that obeying God? Is it
suicide? I realize I may make a few enemies here, but my point is
that this is not their decision, it is your decision, you and God,
and what you understand about your relationship. I absolutely do
believe that there are some circumstances where it should be an
option for you alone. Terminal disease being one of them, and yes,
personal choice being another.

So
suicide. I made my own position clear in other writings which I
assume the reader is referring to, but for those of you who haven’t
read that I’ll repeat it:

I
get up every day and I find a reason not to do it. I deal with
despair, let downs, tragedy, hate, petty bullshit, plain old uncaring
attitudes, loneliness, depression and whatever else comes along. I
look for some sort of good in the world. Yes, I find bad stuff too,
we all do, but everyday I continue. I don’t call it quits. Sometimes
that is because I feel I would be guilty of a sin if I hurt someone
by those actions. I believe our actions are things we are held
accountable for by God. So whether I hurt someone through deed or
action it is on me and some day God will hold me accountable for
that. Other days it is a kind word that keeps me going. And if I wake
up some day and the reason to go forward is gone? I’ll make a
different decision. It’s my choice.

I
got some static for the scene in Earth’s Survivors book three where
Molly killed herself after Nellie, her girlfriend was murdered. I
think that is the first time I addressed the suicide option. I think
that writing was about a real person feeling a real thing in the heat
of the moment. Would Molly have killed herself if she had had the
time to think it through? I don’t know. She chose not to take that
time to think it out.

Is
it an unforgivable sin? No. I don’t believe so. I think that although
God is the giver of life he also gave us free choice for a reason.
It’s our decision. As a human being I would consider murder a sin of
a higher magnitude. That is taking someone’s life when you don’t have
that right under any of God’s laws. You are not God and you are not
the person. Yet this is a sin that nearly all Christian churches will
tell you that God forgives. People who argue this with me will
usually end up with, “Well, you’re dead, you can’t ask for
forgiveness when you are dead?” I guess that is their Ace in the
hole to win the argument. It doesn’t prevail with me though, because
two times in my life I have been clinically dead. I have both
continued to live and to talk with God during those times. I was not
left alone, I had the ability to ask anything of God. There were no
restrictions of any kind. If I had needed forgiveness, absolution, I
could have asked for it and received it I am sure. In fact all that
stuff we sweat daily turned out to be no big deal. And yes, one of
those times was a suicide attempt of my own.

Does
that mean we should all pull the plug? Stop fighting this crap every
day that we fight? No. I think there is so much of the world we can
discover, love, be part of it. It means that you should look for
those reasons, your reasons the same way I do every day. Find
them. Work, because although I did not continue onward into death
itself and whatever is there for us, I did get the feeling that this
might be a one go around deal. One shot. And you do take these
memories with you. There is no hatred, no blaming any longer, just
you once you are there. There are a few people here that I love
deeply. A few there I want to see again. Why not take these good
memories?

I
appreciate the questions. I think over the last few years this blog
has taken its own direction. I’m never too concerned with the things
that are discussed here and sometime discussed further and at length
after with some of you. It’s growth. I hope you share in it as well
as I do.

Okay,
that’s it for me. This is a little longer than my usual blog. The
sponsors on this page are the same people who pay the bills, so give
them a look. Want to be a sponsor on this page? Let me know. Feel
free to send me feedback, yell at me, hate me, like me, I’m okay with
all of it.

Be
back next week, hope you grow a little every day, Geo… 🙂

The Zombie Plagues: https://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Plagues-Book-One-ebook/dp/B0BS9Q31MM

The Earth’s Survivors: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BY9QSLYL